How to talk about periods

Is your little girl growing up? Don't let awkwardness get in the way of that important conversation around the subject of menstruation.

We all know menstruation is a natural part of life, yet talking to our daughters about it can feel awkward. Her first menstruation is a special time in your daughter's life, however, and you don't want to miss this opportunity for togetherness. You also don't want friends or school to be her only source of information on this important topic.

Although you might be tempted to wait until your daughter asks, you will probably have to be the one to bring up the subject of periods. And don't wait too long. Although the average age of first menstruation is 12 or 13, some girls start as early as 9. (Periods usually start about two years after breasts begin to grow.) Many schools introduce the subject around Grade 4.

To get started, you can ask your daughter what she has learned about puberty at school, offer her a book to read, or mention your own period. The first step might be simply to let her know you are available for questions. Single dads might want to ask a female friend or relation to invite questions.

This topic should be a continuing conversation; don't dump everything you know on your daughter at once. Let her lead. You might find she doesn't want too many biological facts at this age, but would rather just know how to handle her period and avoid dreaded teen embarrassment.

Here are some tips on how to talk to your daughter about menstruation.

• Celebrate. Make sure she knows that entering womanhood is a special occasion, not a "curse." Some moms have a gift or a letter ready for that first day; others take their daughter out for lunch or a treat. Tell her many cultures celebrate first menstruation.
   
• Practical points should include how to use pads and tampons, and how to handle variations in flow. Explain the need to change tampons regularly to avoid toxic shock syndrome. Tell her how to dispose of sanitary products (no flushing!) and remind her to keep supplies in her locker or backpack.
   
• Stock up on sanitary supplies at home and show her where they are. Some girls might be shy about asking for them. Many girls are more comfortable starting with pads, but tampons are fine, too. Let her try several options.
   
• Younger women often experience stronger cramps. Mention that a hot bath, heating pad, or over-the-counter pain reliever can help.
   
• Explain that it is common to have irregular periods for the first few years (or longer). The interval between periods can vary, as well as the duration of bleeding. Reassure her that her periods might be different from her friends'.
   
• Point out that if her pain or bleeding are exceptional, or her period lasts more than 10 days, she should see a doctor.
   
• Suggest that she keep track of her cycle on a calendar to help predict her next period.
   
• Mention that her body is now mature enough for her to become pregnant.
   
• Make sure the males in your house know that menstruation is a normal part of life. Let them read a book or article too, or ask them what they have learned in school. Invite questions.
   
• Warn your daughter about moodiness. Often a young woman won't understand why she is feeling sad or irritable until she learns how hormones can "play with her."
   
• Give the gift of confidence. Mention that every young woman goes through this experience and, although it can be unsettling at first, you are certain she can handle it with ease. Assure your daughter that no one can tell she is wearing pads or tampons. (Ask her if she has noticed anyone else wearing them.) Tell her she can carry on with her usual activities.
   
• Finally, recognize that you might need some support, too. Have a chat with some other mothers about this momentous stage in your life.

Source(s): © McNeil Consumer Healthcare, division of Johnson & Johnson Inc. 2007